I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The air was thick with penises
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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