So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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