woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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