we're blogging at a bar
In America we eat man semen.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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