hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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