goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Terrible idea I love it
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
