I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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