Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
We smell like vodka and hangover
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
