That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
