...so i touched it.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
50% drunk capacity currently
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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