She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Drunk is a universal language darling
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