I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
