Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
