oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
