i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
