I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I came so hard my ears popped.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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