so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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