can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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