:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Randomize
