We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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