I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
