My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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