like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
