We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
