you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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