YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
