Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
