Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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