Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
