You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
vagina is talking i cant
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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