do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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