I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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