Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
