am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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