Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
