ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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