Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
