Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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