If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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