I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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