I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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