don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
God, I missed his penis.
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