FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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