Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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