Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
