I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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