If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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