Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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