That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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