Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
