I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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