Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
True college students do jello shots in the library
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