He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
