He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
