Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
