like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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