Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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