Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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