Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I am naked and annoyed.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
