i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
There r osticjed everywhere
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
