Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
